Paint The Black

Baseball and Beyond

Yanks Losing Streak Comes To A ‘Holz,

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Unless your Mike Francesa who no  doubt spent Sunday Night watching  replays of Tiger Porn at the Masters in Georgia, the Bombers / Boston game was a interesting match-up based on the pitching match-ups first, the rivalry 2nd, and way down on the list, the chance we would  see a good baseball  game  played by this inept 2015 NY Yankee team.

After the first  5 games of the season the special ineptness has come from  the  ham-fisted defense on display, a defense that  was supposed to be elite, but should be labeled maladroit at best. The offense hasn’t been much better, the batting averages up  and down  the line-up resemble the scale weight of modern day runway models more then metrics produced by a team called the Bronx Bombers

As for the pitching match-up, Boston had apparently dismissed the Yankees as any form of competition after toying with  them  for two straight days, and the once enigmatic Japanese Super Star Masahiro Tanaka, with his bum  elbow in tow has morphed into a day  at the beach  for MLB hitters.

Wait a second, what about the Almost Yankee Classic on Friday night, the one we’ll never see replayed on the YES Network? Yeah  they had to  play a few extra innings, but that  was more about screwing up  our schedules then  theirs.

I mean, the  Yanks never led once during that 19  inning filibuster, Boston was King of the Hill on 3 occasions before the final tally sunk  the Bombers for good.

“Let’s be honest”

They  were scoring at will off Emil Rogers who no  doubt  displayed  Purple Heart guts throwing 4.2 innings, 6 hits, 3 runs, (2 earned), 1 HR, 1 BB, 4 K’s, that’s a mediocre outing based on baseball  standards, but Esmil  got the buckle for being the last man  standing after throwing 81 pitches, one night removed from a relief appearance that had him tossing 35 pitches.

Damn, 116 pitches in 7 innings over 2 days, what’s this baseball  world coming to, that’s downright Chinese Sweat Shop torture?

ESPN was falling all over themselves touting the Tres Amigos and the newly revamped $200M dollar Boston offense staring Fenway Fats, Hanley Ramirez who looks like he’s 5 minutes away  from pulling one or two  of the new muscles he’s bench pressed onto his once skinny frame, and the Latin Godfather Grand Papi Ortiz

Ortiz was making some sort of gestures with his hands over his eyes during warm-ups, and like two obedient  puppy dogs Fenway Fats and Hanley the lunch lady at Dewitt Clinton High School with his blond tinted locks and hair net, were just  following along.. Sporting all  that  bling, and acting the clown, the Tre Amigos are quite a sight,  no  doubt an SNL bit is in production mode as we speak


Anyway last night Banjo Boy Buchholz who  has been anointed the Boston Ace, based on what I don’t know, was a gift that kept on giving, 3.1 innings 10 hits, 9 runs, 9  earned, 2 BB’s, 3 K’s.. The biggest  shock of the night was back to back and belly to  belly HR’s by Headley and Drew in the 7 run 1st inning

I think  the A-Rod gap double that  cleared the bases put Buchholz on queer street and Headley mugged him with a Ballantine blast, followed by a Drew Tater that  bounced off the top  of the fence in right centerfield to make it 7-0

Tanaka who  was OK, nothing special, 5 innings, 4 hits, 4 runs, 3 earned, 3 BB’s which is alarming, 4 K’s, 1 monster HR, and a 7.00 ERA.. He tried to give it all back in the 4th inning but Boston  fell short only scoring 3 runs off him

Walking Ortiz on 4 pitches with a 7 run lead was a huge red flag to  start the inning. Two  consecutive Wild Pitches had Grand Papi on 3rd base and a Ramirez sac fly gave Boston a gift run. It wasn’t the run as much  as the nibbling by Tanaka that  had to bug everybody rooting for the Pinstripes

Fenway Fats singled, Sleep Napoli walked, Victorino got aboard after yet another error from  the stellar up  the middle defense as Drew threw a ball  wide and Gregorius couldn’t figure out how to just  catch it and get 1 out, instead they had em  loaded up with 1 out and Tanaka reeling

Bogaerts, who looks great  so  far this year, smacked a meatball slider for a two  run double and Tanaka was minutes away from a shower.. Thankfully for Tanaka, Hanigan swung through a slider for a 5 pitch  strike out, and Betts, acted his age and went down  swinging on 3 pitches to  save Tanaka for at  least 3 more outs

The Yanks got the 3 runs back in the bottom of the 4th and that helped Tanaka in his last inning of work.. With Buchholz unable to pitch a shutdown inning it seemed Boston  packed it in at  10-3.

In the 5th Pedroia went down on a 4 pitch F/8, Ortiz let Tanaka off the hook by swinging at  the first pitch and grounded out to Teixeira, so  2 quick outs.. Ramirez then reminded us how vulnerable Tanaka is and he hit a Bomb to the Yankee bull pen for his 3rd HR of the season, it was the last score for Boston as the Yankee pen shut the Red Sox down over the last  12 outs

Carpenter gave Girardi 1.2 innings, of 1 hit relief, and Davies polished it off with 2.1 innings, 3 hits, no  runs

The Yanks picked up  16 hits, all off Buchholz (10) Layne (4) and Meatball Mujica (2).. Yanks were 6 for 10 with RISP, every starter had a knock, Beltran, McCann (HR) and Gardner had two hits apiece, A-Rod 1 hit but 4 RBI’s, Headley had 3 hits

A much needed offensive explosion off a pitcher who mailed it in, and another whistling past the graveyard outing by Tanaka.. The good news  Schilling’s take was the polar opposite of what Pedro Martinez had to  say  about Tanaka.. Schilling thought Tanaka still had to  build up his game, and looked good, while Martinez pretty much  thought Tanaka was fried noodles

Schilling and Kruk both mentioned how predictable Tanaka’s location has been, everything down, so  the hitters  eye level is never challenged, Larry the Stable Guy has some work  to  do  this week  with Hiro Jr, we can only hope Schilling was spot on and Tanaka slowly works into the pitcher the Bombers are paying for

the Whole 9

the Blind Boys Crunch  the Numbers

and escort the JR GM’s off the ledge

LoHud Pours the Kool Aid


Written by Sal

April 13, 2015 at 8:42 am

Posted in Uncategorized

7 Responses

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  1. nice win, the animals in the woods got to hear my first screams of joy in that first inning…

    Tanaka has become a work in progress, and hopefully now Pineda can step up and become the Ace, Buck will have something to say about that,

    although maybe Buck will take his foot off the pedal now that the Yanks are noted chopped liver throughout the baseball community


    April 13, 2015 at 8:56 am

  2. Obviously, a much needed win by the beleaguered “Championship Caliber Team”! It was good to see the wealth spread around the lineup. Everybody joined the party. I admit, I got a little nervous early on when the defense started fukking up again. Sir Didi was right in the middle of it, again! I think Headly is going to have a big year. And Arod (Call me Al), in the early going, has really been their best hitter. Who woulda thunk that??? The interesting thing to watch now, is to see if last night was an offensive aberration, a one night stand if you will, or if they’ve really turned the corner. Stay tuned sports fans!


    April 13, 2015 at 9:10 am

  3. I Love Fried Noodles, Sal,,


    April 13, 2015 at 9:33 am

  4. hey boys,

    good chance they turned the corner onto a 1 way street, I’m not gonna get too happy, remember this is the same group that would look good one game, then fall off the wagon ASAP

    Gregorius is making Cashman look bad, enough with the he’s a stud defender, especially the Ma and Pa crew, they’re reading propaganda out of the YES survival manual..

    At this point i’d take Greene in the rotation, Drew at SS and Ref at 2nd base, can’t be any worse then what we’ve seen on D

    Shocked over Al for sure, let’s hope he keeps it up

    Mush man needs to get his names right if he’s gonna stick with his schtick… It Layne Mushy, not Payne…

    “Next, Brian McCann, another accomplished left-handed pull hitter. The Red Sox brought in Tommy Payne, a lefty who, presumably, would make it easier for McCann to hit the ball toward third base/left field. And while we weren’t told if a shift was on, TV exposed the third-base side as empty”.

    I do like how he put it to YES for being laxed with the criticism.. and I’m Woods’d out… Tiger Porn


    April 13, 2015 at 9:49 am

  5. For a change I actually enjoyed a Sunday night game,minus listening to Blimp Schilling.They play better with the sound off. So far,the Yankee theme of Run Prevention has not been working out so well.I was all for getting Didi but he has looked more like a dodo,starting to get concerned. When they show shots of pitchers warming up in the Yankee bullpen,the first thing I say is who the f is that?-these guys look like they belong on a milk carton. Yanks finished the home stand 2-4,not good. We can only hope the offensive explosion continues vs the O’s and our pal Buck.


    April 13, 2015 at 10:05 am

  6. Pinch hit Grand Salami for Stephen Drew ???
    Who are those guys ??

    Dallas B,, i feel the same way,
    Petit ?
    Where did he come from?
    1/2 those guys i never heard of, but the are playing better tonight,
    Alex playing 3rd tonight ?
    I thought every beat,writer said never gonna happen, right ?


    April 13, 2015 at 10:08 pm

  7. Ok,
    Miller has the juice and the stones to close so far,
    betances looked more nervous than ever before but dug deep and did his part too
    Miller slammed Buckfuck’s door in his midget scowling facce brutte
    nice win by all concerned,


    April 14, 2015 at 6:43 am

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