Paint The Black

Baseball and Beyond

The Sinking Ship Steinbrenner

with 12 comments

Well after Michael  That Dog Won’t Hunt Pineda destroyed  over 40 thousand fans at the Mall on Rivera Avenue’s  Sunday afternoon in about 10 minutes, plus the millions that  tune in on the  YES Propaganda Network and Ma and Pa’s Way Way Way Off Broadway Radio Show, the Bomber-less Yankees head out on a rough 9 day tour of Texas, Boston  and Baltimore

You don’t think  those 3 offenses and pitching staffs are licking their chops do  you, Boston leads the AL in runs with 90, and Texas and Baltimore are tied for third  with  81 apiece.. Any struggling pitching staff can get healthy quick with  the Jurassic Yanks coming to  town…

The Bomber-less Yanks are 10th out of the  15 AL teams with  66 runs scored

Hal’s Pal’s took a brief 2 day vacation from being bashed by the NY media after their $153M  Doughboy finally earned his paycheck on Friday night with  some daring base running and clutch  hitting, helping the Jurassic Yanks to  a 6-3 win..

Saturday Captain Gardner of the Sinking Ship Steinbrenner poked a walk off Tater to  sneak by a kid making his first  start ever, two  relievers, and the only RHP they  faced all  day for a 3-2 win.. A Gritty Gutty 2 game winning streak had the media shaking in their sock-less penny loafers!!!!

To add artificial icing to the winning streak party cake, the Yanks $175M Ace, TJ Tanaka was finally able to navigate Hal’s Apocalypse Now Pontoon boat for 7 full innings, while allowing just 2 runs in the process !!!!!

On Sunday Pineda quickly dispelled any delusions of grandeur about a sweep when he coughed up  6 straight 2 out hits, and 5 runs before the ice could melt in  those 1 percenters Martini glasses sitting court-side or is it Moat-Side?

Three doubles, two HR’s,  a single and 5 runs later, Pa Pinstripe was bemoaning “the Yanks barely score 5 runs in a week, how the hell  were they  gonna come back vs Drew Smyly” a pretty tough LHP for every other team in baseball, but an  absolute death  sentence for this bumbling excuse for a $220M baseball team

Anyway, the Yanks finally got Aaron Hicks the hell out of the way after he was diagnosed with shoulder bursitis, my mother may she RIP had that  ailment, and yesterday Mr Baseball, ARod, his .145 BA and .515 OPS was yanked from the game with a “Tricky” Oblique injury he sustained swinging in the batting cage…

Jesus the Christ  at least  say he did it busting his butt trying to  reach  2nd base after he whacked an RBI double in the 4th inning, for the Jurassic Yankees only run of the game…Nope he hurt it practicing his swing, but the MRI came back negative..

Now Joey Day Care has two injured players he can’t use, but CashMan won’t DL either ball  and chain, because, I really don’t know why, but it can’t be because they’re keeping opposing pitchers, managers and pitching coaches up  at night studying film on how to get them out

Hicks is 2 for 22 so  far in his Yankee career .091 /.167 / .091 / .258, CashMan is hell bent on getting this guy going, it’s part of the big master plan he and his boss have to get younger and more cost effective

Mr Baseball is batting .145 /.242 /.273 / .515.. he’s 8  for 55 with 2 HR’s, 1 double, and 5 singles.. He’s been punched out 19  times for a 35% K-Rate, which is down from the start of this weekend’s  39%, so  things were starting to look up  for the Bombers 40 yr old DH

Here’s a question, if Joey Day Care is being extra cautious resting guys in April, how come the Yanks venture to Texas with only 23 players available? Their bench  will  consist of Ronnie Torreyes, Austin Romine, and Dustin Ackley, now that’s a heck of a bench  for any AAA ball club in baseball, but it’s a pathetic indictment on team building for the Sinking Ship Steinbrenner

Forget the offense, it was basically non-exisitant yesterday vs Smyly who pretty much  waltzed through 7 innings, 6 hits, 5 singles, 1 run, 6 K’s, the Yanks are now 2-5 vs LHP, actually they beat  a RHP on Saturday, but who’s counting, the stat book shows they’ve won two games vs South-Paws

The Yanks are hitting .219 / .288 / .300 / .588 vs LH starters

225 / .311 / .291 / .602 vs LHP in general

Over all vs all pitching

Their DH numbers are pathetic .156 / .260 / .266 / .526

3rd base numbers equally inept .185 / .308 / .185 / .493

First base numbers not much better, .197 / .329 / .344 / .673

The touted 3 hole, a supposedly high octane spot in any line-up is producing at  a

.121 / .213 / .227 / .441 rate

Probably the biggest reason  the Bombers are 7-10, 4 games out, and sitting in the AL East basement

Although, they’re not getting too much help from….

The Yankees starters have a collective 5.14 ERA, They’ve given up  114 hits in 96.1 innings

they have a 1.422 WHIP

Teams are hitting .290 / .332 / .509 / .841 against the Glass Jaw 5

I’m starting to  wonder if a NYY quality start  should be 3 innings 6 runs instead of 6 innings 3 runs…..?

To  say Pineda had the most bazaar outing is an understatement, it’s hard to  comprehend how a pitcher can give up 4 HR’s, 10 hits, 7  runs, but somehow still manage to  strike out 9 batters.. In fact the Yankees pitchers punched out 16 of the 27 outs they  registered yesterday

Yankees starters are tied for the lead in HR’s allowed in the AL with  16

It’s safe to  say  the Bomber  relievers are top  shelf, and after 12 more games, Chapman will  add to  the angst the rest of baseball  will  face from the 6th / 7th inning on, but can  the Sinking Ship Steinbrenner find a way  to get them  the ball with a lead????

the Whole 9



Written by Sal

April 25, 2016 at 8:18 am

Posted in Uncategorized

12 Responses

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  1. “A Gritty Gutty 2 game winning streak had the media shaking in their sock less penny loafers”…..too funny, Sal! I always hated that look & the people that wore it! Btw, it’s moat side. I checked with Lonn. Pinetop is the new Forrest Gump. Every start he opens a new box of chocolates……and you never know what you’re gonna get!!!


    April 25, 2016 at 9:30 am

    • Actually mB Pineda for me is a honey do list chore gone wrong, I always know what I’m getting, bashed


      April 25, 2016 at 10:19 am

    • BTW one of the numerous guitar players on stage this wk end had that foot wear on… A Very Bluesy look hahahaha

      Personally it’s just another piece of laundry I wouldn’t have to do so i wish I had a pair of loafers lol


      April 25, 2016 at 10:22 am

  2. I will be at the game tonight! Im sure Eovoldi will look unhittable for 3 innings and then fall apart like the scrub he is. TIME TO BRING BACK THE SWISHAWK!!!!!!!!

    Pretty Ricky

    April 25, 2016 at 10:06 am

    • yeah for some reason they won’t bring him back unless ARod or Hicks hit the DL….


      April 25, 2016 at 10:18 am

  3. the Met Mutts are giddy today, they beat up on the Indians bottom of their rotation, although they did smack Kluber around, Phillies and the Braves lol….

    Boston goes to Atlanta for 4 games this week, wow, why is Atlanta and Philly allowed to be a MLB team?


    April 25, 2016 at 10:28 am

  4. I don’t get how these guys keep saying it’s early in the season so nothing matters, stats, standings, Run differential, wins, losses etc… why the fuck are they even playing the games, lets just start the season in June then…


    April 25, 2016 at 10:30 am

  5. Sal–I also noticed Joey Genius Claps say that obliques were “tricky.” He has the same worn out nonsense comments that would play better in a new town where everyone could start all over and be impressed on how smart Joey with the Degree in Engineering really is.
    Great observation about Joey comments concerning resting players and now going to Texas with a 23 man roster. The manager is becoming increasingly insane.


    April 25, 2016 at 11:40 am

    • Noogsie, Joey is caught between being a press secretary for Hal, and the smartest guy in the room Re: analytics

      Hicks reminds me of the move Boston made on Porcello, except the Yanks didn’t pay him $82M for 4 yr’s based on what his projection was

      They insist, and we hope they’re right, that this kid’s early scouting reports as a high school player and his high round draft choice come to fruition..Unfortunately they’re force feeding him into the line-up at the expense of a 2015 OPS split vs LHP, and not taking into consideration the human element, like him putting a lot of pressure on himself…

      if they’re committed to the Captain and the Doughboy setting the table for the middle of the line-up let them play a month maybe, and use Hicks as a defensive replacement…. Although I don’t know how you find him AB’s?

      When you have over $220M invested in 3 OFer’s, trying to stick a platoon player in the middle of that is kind of crazy.. I think you do that stuff when you’re the Rays

      then again maybe pissing Ellsbury off lit a fire under his ass, we’ll see how it plays out

      We need Castro to pick it back up, good to see him get 3 hits in his last 7 AB’s.

      I think it was Lupica who called out Cashman and Girardi’s track record, over the last 9 yr’s.. I think the players are getting older, but there is no excuse for the half Billion they spent in 2014, the results from that haul haven’t panned out


      April 25, 2016 at 12:02 pm

  6. It’s sad when you have to agree with loopyica.
    The team is pathetic the numbers don’t lie-no offense,horrible starting pitching,mediocre defense=last place. It makes no sense playing short handed as lousy as they are.Put Pinder on the 60 day dl,add the Hawk to the 40 man &bring him up. They can move Beltran to dh &bring up Judge.This team needs an enema-time to shake things up,it ain’t working!!!! Back after this..


    April 25, 2016 at 12:43 pm

    • hahahaha good run down Big D, and all the boys this morning great stuff

      Looks like Honest Mike hit pay dirt, the Brady suspension…, boy will that gas bag milk this one, now he gets to play Ironsides, breaking down the court of appeals.. All his gambler nitwits can now weigh in…

      It is that hard to pay MLB baseball pundits to come on these shows?? this 24/7 365 NFL stuff is an albatross

      Today we have to put the Rangers to bed, why?? and now Honest Mike will act like he knows the Islanders, can whoever they’re playing please sweep 4 straight If there is a God please!!


      April 25, 2016 at 1:34 pm

  7. Saw that the Yanks signed Phil C(h)oke to a minor league deal and sent him to Scranton. I just cannot believe that this lousy team that cannot hit is playing 2 men short vs the Rangers!! Ridiculous!!!


    April 25, 2016 at 7:10 pm

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