Paint The Black

Baseball and Beyond

Play Bawl

with 9 comments

We welcome ourselves to  the 2017 MLB season, starting today at 1:10 PM

The Fake Season which of course is loitered with  Fake News about roster spots, position competition, World Series predictions, OPS, BA, RISP, HR’s, Hits, RBI’s, WHIP, Spin Rate, and the most annoying Spring Training stat, Splits, is now over…

We diligently managed to  cover, excessively I might add, all  of the MLB Fake News this off season, ZZZZZZZZ..

Unfortunately the process to Opening Day, which started with MLB’s Hot Stove, the ultimate in creating Fake News, then morphed into my  all  time favorite Spring Training, was as exciting as it gets for me. I can’t remember the last time an off season, specifically the Grapefruit League, meant so much to  a Franchise like the Bombers who have been as boring as uncooked spaghetti since 2013..

The Puff pieces like Meet Greg Bird’s cat, Holliday Ready Too Be A Mentor, The YES Network Strong at  our Core, which I recommend, The women of Alex Rodriguez, which is nowhere near completed, are finished for good..

The real rubber meets the real  road today God dammit, but when Aaron Judge strikes out 75% of the time vs RHP,  CC Sabathia falls like Humpty Dumpty, or Michael Pineda becomes the inspiration for an animated cartoon series, don’t come running to us at the Paint……We tried to  warn  you..

Al Yankzeera’s YES network isn’t promoting opening day, because ESPN money whipped them to take the afternoon off, so they’ll show the Nets instead…We won’t be getting our regularly interrupted first  class Kool Aid service from the  usual YES flight attendants today, only Ma and Pa on the radio

We’ll have to  wait until 6:30 ET on Tuesday  to check out BrickHouse’s newest dominatrix outfit that  will no doubt feature her girls..We’re hoping this is finally the season when one, or both have the words Happy Birthday moscone tattooed on them…

Who: Yankees at Rays

When: 1:10 p.m. Eastern


If you want a complete in depth  review of more projected Fake News Click  Here 

Yankees vs Rays

The Yanks face the Rays with Brainiac Philosopher Chris Archer on the bump, while the Bronx Bombers counter with the only legit top  of the rotation  starter they have on the roster Nibbles Tanaka

What Archer or Tanaka have done in the past is irrelevant, so  we’re not posting any stats..

If Archer gets in rhythm the Yanks will be chum

If Tanaka has all 50 of his pitches working, the Rays will live up  to  their fake news projected bottom of the barrel offensive numbers

The hope here is the Rays pitchers make more mistakes then Tanaka and whoever Girardi has mathematically calculated to  follow him in their journey to  the illusive 27th out..

If the Rays pitchers miss their spots, Sanchez, Bird, Judge, and their Oldies back up  band will continue the Legendary Spring accomplishments by the new and improved Bomber squad

Play  today, win  today, das it… enjoy


Written by Sal

April 2, 2017 at 7:13 am

Posted in Uncategorized

9 Responses

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  1. Hate ESPN’S money whips
    GO YANKS !!!


    April 2, 2017 at 8:40 am

  2. I have the game on YES but on my iPad
    Maybe it is on YES on your TV unless this is just a pregame?


    April 2, 2017 at 12:50 pm

  3. Nope
    Got it on YES, for better or for worse lol
    Bird a two out walk, patient kid,


    April 2, 2017 at 1:19 pm

  4. I am watching on YES,looks like a rerun from last year-lol Nibbles is back. Yanks got screwed on the replay. Not the start we wanted


    April 2, 2017 at 1:40 pm

  5. It got Ugly early out dere,,


    April 2, 2017 at 2:10 pm

  6. I put the game on DVR. Just got home & yes….it is on Yes. I’m an inning and a half behind, had Ma & Pa on coming home.
    Hopefully, the bats come back!


    April 2, 2017 at 2:11 pm

  7. Another fkn Yankee nightmare at the trop Tommy Layne first gidrool of the year-not counting Tanaka


    April 2, 2017 at 2:26 pm

    • hahahaha… a two gidrool day..

      Totally agree boys, not what we were looking for… I’ll check out the archive but from what I saw Tanaka couldn’t throw the ball over the plate… He got the Opt out Yips…

      At least Judge found a hanging slider, be nice to score some runs just to try and feel good about something….


      April 2, 2017 at 3:15 pm

  8. Yanks lost their 6th straight opening day and 8 of 9 so maybe it should not have been a surprise. It was incredibly disappointing after the great spring. Playing an opener on a Sunday afternoon was very strange.
    Tanaka was completely horrible,doing a total 180 from his unhittable spring training-maybe it shows that those games didn’t mean anything. Sanchez had a terrible game,left a small tribe on base. It just amazes me how the Rays win that shitty lineup-except for Longoria of course. As they say,only 161 more to go!!
    Hopefully after visiting Mons Venus they can win the series.


    April 2, 2017 at 10:38 pm

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